The Leader, Nollaig 1988

CHRISTMAS CRACKERS Two drunks walking through Glasgow. "Is this Wembley?" "No, it's Thursday." "So am I, let's go for a drink." Sound of marching. "Morning Vladimir''. "Morning Ivan". "Chilly today, isn't it?". "No, we're not fin– ished with Afghanistan yef'. A Spanish Fireman's wife had twins. What did she call them ? Hose A and Hose B. Two old Colonels are drinking in a country club. One turns to the other and says: "I say old chap, when was the last time you had a woman?". "Oh, I think it was 1945". "My gosh, that was a hell of a long time ago". "My dear boy, it's only twenty-two hundred hours now". VIDEO TOP 10 1. Baby Boom 2. The Last Emperor 3. Overboard 4. Predator 5. RoboCop 6 Lost Boys 7. 3 Men and a Baby 8. Untouchables 9. Death Wish 4 1 O. Stakeout Courtesy of Video King, Letterkenny. Motto of the Tax Office - "If we can bring a smile to someone, some– where, at sometime; then somebody, somewhere has made a mistake". A smash and grab raid in Jeru– salem was foiled when the thieves went back for the brick. A group of hippies are smok– ing pot, when they hear the police sirens below. "Quick, hide the stuff", says one of them. "Where ?", asks hismate. "Shove it inside the cuckoo clock". They did just in time, as the police carried out a thorough search of the pad. Having found no pot, they were just about to leave when the cuckoo shot out of the clock and said "Hey man...what time is it?" DONEGAL-GALWAY-DONEGAL 6 TOP 10 ALBUMS 1. Now 13 - Various 2. Hits Album - various 3. Kylie - Kylie Minogue 4. Private Collection - Cliff Richard 5. Push - Bros 6. From the Heart - Daniel O'Donnell 7. My Feelings for You - John Hogan 8. The Ultimate Collection - Bryan Ferry 9. Greatest Hits - Fleetwood Mac 10. Greatest Hits of 1988- Various TOP 10 SINGLES 1. Mistletoe and Wine - Cliff Richard 2. Especially for You - Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan 3. Suddenly - Angry Anderson 4. Crackers International - Erasure 5. Cat Among the Pigeons - Bros 6. Good Life - Inner City 7. Two Hearts - Phil Collins 8. Take Me to Your Heart - Rick Astley 9. Burning Bridges - Status Quo 10. Angel of Harlem - U2" Courtesy of The Music Centre, Letterkenny. - COACH TOURS - Ideal for Student• to and from Galway & Sligo crosfhocal Trasna I. Coils Deport Letterkenny Dep. Sligo for Galway Dep. Galway Dep. Sligo for Donegal Friday 10.30 o.m. 4.30 p.m. 12.30 p.m. 6.30 p.m. 5.30 p.m. 8.00 p.m. Monday io Saturday Sunday Thunday 3.30 p.m. 9.00 o.m. 5.30 p.m. 11.00 o.m. 10.00 o.m. 8.00 p.m. 4.00 p.m. 12.00 p.m. 10.30 p.m. 6.00 p.m. Ideal for Doily Trip• to Sligo and Knock. All Galway departure• from Catftedral except Sunday evening departure from Eyre Square 8.00 p.m. Bookings & Enquiries: (075) 48114 (091) 68421 (091) 61656 FEDA O'DONNELL COACHES I 1. Wept Anuas 2. Flowers I 3. Salt 5. Capital city 6. Teeth 7. Means of approach 9.Infirm --l~+-+--t 1 11. Effaced ! 13. Sauciest 1 15. Greek imaae 16. Dog ' 18. Intend I 20. Middle I 21. Small waw I 24, Sea e1g1es I 25. Unwell : 27. Dry .........................\ 30.Pale 4. Peninsula (U.S.S.R.) 8. Affront 10. Intended to be sung 12. Musical drama 14.Arpe 17. Prowtes with weapom 19. Long locb 20. Crown 22. Girl's name 23. Blushes 26. Frolica 28. Drunkard 29. Sharp pain 31.Amendl 32. Unpleuant